My Story & My Style
I love what I do, being a Life Coach, Parenting Mentor and Nanny allows me to do the thing I love the most. It's often said, when you find what it is that you were born to do, then it never feels like work. It's true.
I've always had a knack with children. I found out early in life that children need guidance, inspiration, nurturing and above all love to grow to their full potential. As parents, its important to guide your children, helping them to be conscious and aware of others and their place in your family and their world.
Easy parenting and happy families are a natural outcome when the communication between parents and children is based on mutual respect.
After alI these years as a nanny I have seen first hand, all kinds of parenting styles, some of which work to make happy families and many which don't. Often we parent in a way that reflects how we were raised by doing either the same or the opposite of our parents style - or no style. This can result in automatic responses to our children's behaviour rather than doing what works best. We can find ourselves operating on auto pilot instead of conscious pilot. (thats funny)
Obviously, all families are unique and therefore, have different needs and ways of doing things. Still, allowing out of control behaviour to upset the family dynamics is damaging on many levels.
I have never seen a happy child who has to resort to screaming or tantrums to feel heard. The babies, toddlers and children who are disrespecting their own parents are not happy - unless they are getting their own way, but that is always short lived until the next battle they have to negotiate. If you see this in your family, then things need to change because an emotional, entitled, moody child will not one day turn into the conscious, engaged adult that all parents are hoping to rear. It just doesn't work that way.
I have been blessed with three wonderful children of my own and, although I raised them as a single mum for the majority of their childhood I found parenting easy and fun most of the time. Of course we had our challenges and like most new mums I over did the spoiling of the first child. Often life has a way of waking us up and so a couple of babies and a divorce later was the shock I needed to see that I wasn't doing anyone any favours by not having children who knew how to behave.
The great news is that once you know how, changing the rules is easy. A little bit harder than change is consistency still, that is where the gold happens. It's always up to the parents if the children behave well or not. As strange as it sounds for a nanny to admit, I have little tolerance for out of control madness, loud noises and messes just for the sake of it. And, like most mums I meet, I do not have the patience of a saint. Like many parents today, as a mother with young children, I was too busy to put up with whining, nagging and tantrums. I made a decision to eliminate those behaviours the minute they showed up and I turned that 'nip in the bud' trick, along with a number of other great strategies, into a parenting model which I called The ACE Parenting Model.
Recent statistics from the American Board of Physicians has shown that 80% of mums are stressed and from my close observation I see that around two thirds of Australian mothers are feeling the same. Even more alarming is the overwhelming number of children who experience anxiety, by the age of 5. How can families cope if this isn't addressed?
Childhood is a very important and precious time in our children's lives. It's too important to get it too wrong. There is no such thing as a perfect parent or child for that matter but being 'our best' at anything we do, I believe has to be what we do as well as what we say to our children.
Acquiring some skills to make the most momentous and adventurous job you will ever have, easier and more enjoyable is a smart decision for busy people.
Teaching your children to be self aware, practising self control and gaining self assurance means that you can have less stress, your children will have less anxiety and everyone can enjoy more of life’s great things such as playfulness, a happy home full of happy times together and my favourite, lots of laughter and loving connection.
Sharon Cullington 2017
Check out Gordon Neufeld's videos on how to raise easy kids to be happy and conscious.
Gordon Neufeld on Discipline - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mK7qui2BsfY
Gordon Neufeld on Attachment Theory - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJjJNKpekw0